Chrom: ...Huh? Now where are we?
Merchant: Oh, you finally made it! Welcome to the Hotrealm, the Outrealms' hottest resort! It's about time you arrived. I was starting to worry.
Chrom: "Hotrealm"? What does...er... Beg pardon, milady—we seem to have caught you changing outfits. Please, finish dressing first and then we can chat.
Merchant: What do you mean, finish? I'm fully dressed already! Haven't you ever seen a bikini before?
Chrom: ...Is that what they call smallclothes in this realm?
Merchant: Smallclothes?! Wow, you really are from the sticks, aren't you? A bikini is just a two-piece swimsuit. ...You DO know what a swimsuit is, right?
Chrom: Heh. I'm familiar with the concept, yes…
Merchant: Really? 'Cause by the way you're staring, I'd swear this is the first you've seen…
Chrom: Huh? ...Oh, that! Well, I was, er, merely admiring the design!
Merchant: Uh-huh. So that flush in your cheeks is just sunburn, right? Or perhaps you're picturing someone else in a similarly "admirable" design, hmm?
Chrom: What? No! What sort of degenerate do you take me for?
Merchant: All right, well, you'll get used to it. This is pretty typical dress here in the Hotrealm. In fact, this is one of the more conservative outfits... Anyway, where are my manners? Let me show you to your cabana.
Chrom: We have a cabana...? It almost sounds like you've been expecting us…
Merchant: Well, of COURSE we have, silly! Who do you think sent the invitation?
Chrom: Invitation? We received no invitation.
Merchant: WHAT?! You didn't? Not even the brochures? The lotion samples?!
Merchant: Ugh, I cannot believe this. We had the perfect vacation all planned out for you. Stupid interrealm mail service! I mean, you ARE the Shepherds, right? My sisters told me about how you've been going around saving the Outrealms... We all agreed the LEAST we could do is give you a day pass to the resort.
Chrom: Oh? Well, that's very kind of you. ...Not as kind as actually helping us in battle rather than just watching, but—
Merchant: Hey, you guys are bona fide celebrities. You were made to be stared at!
Chrom: I...don't think that's true at all, actually—
Merchant: All right, no more protesting! You're going to frolic in the water, and that's that! Now, your sorcerer friends have already changed into their swimsuits. If they can do it, so can you, big guy. Go on, show a little skin! Here. I've got a swimsuit just for you. It's embroidered with the Ylissean Brand!
Chrom: Um...whose idea was it to embroider it right smack in the middle of my—
Chrom: Frederick! ...Save me.
Merchant: Hey, handsome. Want to try on your lord's swimsuit since he won't wear it?
Chrom: Better you than me, Frederick.
Frederick: I fear my derriere is not worthy. ...And more importantly, the beach has been overrun by brigands!
Merchant: Brigands? Oh, come ON! Why is everyone trying to ruin your special day?
Chrom: Is anyone hurt?
Frederick: No, milord. The beach was evacuated without incident. It seems the brigands are more interested in hogging the beach. ...It IS a nice beach.
Chrom: Well, we can't take any chances. We'd better put these resort crashers to rout. Rally the Shepherds!
Merchant: ...Wow. That escalated fast. I don't think his sorcerers even had time to change out of their swimsuits. ...Oh well! They're the Shepherds. They'll put on a great show regardless of their attire. And hey, I could probably charge admission to watch this! Where's my ledger?!
Chrom: This is some resort they've got here. No wonder people come here to relax. I should let the troops rest up here once the fighting is done. After all, they were kind enough to send us an invitation…
Merchant: ATTENTION, SHEPHERDS. THIS IS A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT. *Click* *hiss* IS THIS EVEN WORKING?
Chrom: Ack! What giant is this that addresses me from beyond the sea?!
Merchant: OH... Sorry! I just lowered the volume. I'm using a Megaphone tome to talk to you long distance. It's an Anna original. Sometimes kids get lost at the resort. Their parents freak out... You know. ...And when you reply, would you please speak clearly into those seashells?
Chrom: These ones here? Huh. So that's what they're for... Anyway, what's this special announcement?
Merchant: Well, remember how I mentioned you were celebrities? The Hotrealm put it to a vote, and we picked our four favorite Shepherds!
Chrom: You...voted on us?
Merchant: Sure did! Oh, don't worry, though—you're all loved. ...Just not equally. Anyway, the four winners will receive a very special prize! For the men, the winners are... Drumroll, please... Chrom aaaaaand...Gaius! Big round of applause! And for the ladies, we have... Tharja aaaaaand...Cordelia! Aren't they just lovely? Now which of you four are here with us today? (cursor focuses on hut entrance) Wait right here at this winner's circle to claim your prize! By the way, today's poll was just for the elder generation. The fruits of their loins will get their shot at glory another time!
Chrom: Elder generation...? I think I need to sit down…
Merchant: Uh-oh! Hope it's not heatstroke, old-timer! You'd better drop by the winners' circle and cool down! *click* *hiss*
Chrom: Well, my name was called... I suppose I'll go see what this is all about.
- These scenes are optional. To view, have the character in question wait on the designated tile.
Chrom: I'm fairly certain this is the "winner circle" she mentioned... So what do I win?
Merchant: Oh, you made it! This is so exciting! Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular men...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Go ahead—try it on! Your fans are waiting.
Chrom: Huh? W-wait a second! These are those smallclothes you tried to get me to wear before!
Merchant: They're not smallclothes! And they cost a lot of gold to make. It's not easy getting these things tailored to royal proportions. Now march that rear end of yours into the changing room!
(screen goes black)
Chrom: I'm supposed to try this on? It feels like I'm trying the rest of my garments OFF. Ugh, I guess the cape needs to come off first... And I'll just lean my sword up against here...*Wriggle, jiggle* *Boink* ...Have I got this on backwards? Tell me the Brand doesn't go in front... Ugh, this is mortifying. I can't let Robin and the others see me like this, or I'll— Ack! Was that a draft?
Merchant: Chrom? Are you finished?
Chrom: "Finished" is probably an apt word, yes…
Merchant: Okay, then. Come on out!
(Chrom's swimsuit CG)
Chrom: Here, satisfied? D-do I look okay?
Merchant: *Whistle* Like a perfect 10! Let's just say the Brand really brings out your royal attributes.
Chrom: I feel like a buffoon…
Merchant: What, are you crazy? You're a knockout in that!
Chrom: Really? ...You mean it?
Merchant: Trust me. Now get out there and waste some brigands!
Chrom: What?! I can't fight like this! Tomes are one thing, but I can't stop swords and lances in just my skin!
Merchant: Why not? You look plenty armed and dangerous to me. The historians would have a field day!
Chrom: Yeah...and so would the enemy. I'm not sure which would be worse—them stabbing me or laughing at me.
Merchant: Heh heh. All right, all right. I suppose I'll let you off the hook. Go ahead and change back into your armor.
Chrom: Thank the gods... The wind kind of...tickles...when I've got this thing on...
(screen returns to battle map)
Merchant: Thanks for dropping by, Chrom. What did you think of your swimsuit? Pretty liberating, huh?
Chrom: You could say that... I'll admit my armor feels almost suffocating now that I've got it back on. It's no wonder you dress like that here in the Hotrealm.
Merchant: In that case, why don't you buy the swimsuit? It was expensive, but I'd be willing to part with it for, say...thus paltry sum?
Chrom: Good gods... Aren't there at least two zeroes too many on that figure? Robin would have my head if I blew through that kind of gold.
Merchant: Really? That's too bad. I'll leave the offer open!
Gaius: Hellooo? I'm here to collect my prize?
Merchant: Oh! Come on in. I'm so glad you made it! Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular men...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Go on—you can get changed in here. Don't want to keep your fans waiting!
Gaius: You want me to wear this tiny scrap of cloth? Nice try, honey. But a thief needs to be inconspicuous.
Merchant: What if I threw in a box of the Hotrealm's finest confections?
Gaius: ...What body part would you like me to stick this on?
Merchant: That's the spirit! Now, into the changing room...
(screen goes black)
Gaius: Me and my sweet tooth... Maybe I shouldn't have been so gung ho about this. There must be laws against parading around in your skivvies outdoors. Well, let's get it over with. I can leave my headband on, I guess...*Wobble, bobble* *CRASH* Aw, son of a— I dropped my stash! Where do my legs go in this damn thing? ...Now I've got gotta hide my candy again, and—oh. Crap.
Merchant: Gaius? Are you done changing?
Gaius: ...More or less.
Merchant: Then come on out!
(Gaius's swimsuit CG)
Merchant: Wow! Hello, hunk! Those candies on your trunks just scream, "Unwrap me."
Merchant: What's wrong?
Gaius: I guess it would be a little sticky, but if all else fails…
Merchant: Hello? You listening?
Gaius: Oh. Sorry, I was just trying to figure out where to hide my sweets. My usual outfit is full of secret pockets and what have you, but this... And let's not even talk about what salt water would do to my stash.
Merchant: Well, just promise you won't get too creative with your hidey holes, okay? ...Say, how come you've got that kerchief wrapped around your forearm?
Gaius: Huh?! Oh, uh, you know. Long story…
Gaius: Something like that.
Merchant: Well, if you ask me, you should be more worried about hiding that baby fat. Is that a six-pack or a one-pack?
Gaius: Hey! It's more than you'll ever see! Like it's not embarrassing enough wearing this clown suit... Look, you got what you wanted. I'm changing back into my own duds. I expect that box of confections in one hour, or there'll be blood to pay!
Merchant: Hey! Take it easy there, pal... Ah well. He can pout all he wants now that I've got what I came for...
(screen returns to battle map)
Merchant: Glad you stopped by, Gaius. So what did you think of your swimsuit?
Gaius: I hated it. I belong in my own breeches, no question. ...But thanks for the life experience, I guess.
Merchant: No problem. And here I thought you'd already done it all. ...Well, here's that reward I promised.
Gaius: Yes! Sweet, sweet candy. Come to Papa... Hey. Hold on. These are your finest confections? They look pretty ordinary to me.
Merchant: No, sir. See those swirls? That's seaweed we harvest. It gives the candy a salty kick... Plus it's good for you. You won't find anything like it elsewhere. ...And you may not want to.
Gaius: Heh. I see. Well, as long as it sates my sweet tooth, I won't complain. So long, Red.
Cordelia: This should be the place... Beg pardon! Is anyone here?
Merchant: Oh! There you are, Cordelia. You look ravishing today. Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular ladies...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! Step right inside, and you can try it on. Your fans would like that, I'm sure.
Cordelia: Fans? Ah, yes. The popularity contest of which you spoke before.
Merchant: Ha, sharp as a tack! Can't pull a fast one on the famous Cordelia! But don't just do this for your fans. Do it as a treat for yourself, too.
Cordelia: All right, then. That I shall.
Merchant: Great! Let's get you into the changing room then.
(screen goes black)
Cordelia: What a charming little garment! You even picked my favorite color. I wonder if my beloved would look my way if I wore this outside... Oh, that would send me into raptures! *Fwip, shwip* *Thwunk* Ack! This leaves far little to the imagination... And speaking of far too little... Oh, where is my breastplate when I need it? There must be some extra stockings around here or...something…
Merchant: Cordelia? Is everything all right?
Cordelia: I've finished changing... But I'm far too mortified to set foot outside…
Merchant: What? But you have such a wonderful figure! Let me come inside and have a look.
Cordelia: What? ...No! Stay out! Pleeeeeease!
(Cordelia's swimsuit CG)
Cordelia: ...Ugh! Why did you have to come in?
Merchant: Whoa! You look amazing! What was all the groaning about being mortified? Were you worried the men's hearts would stop when they saw you? Very chivalrous, but I think you can make your debut with pride.
Cordelia: But my...you know…
Merchant: Your "you know"? Why are you holding your chest like that? Are you not feeling well? Here, let me have a look... Arms wide!
Cordelia: Ack! No, please, don't! Please, milady—NOOOOOO!
Merchant: I get it now. You're worried your size won't get it with the guys, is that it?
Cordelia: M-must you be so direct?! *Sigh* Now everyone will know my breastplate is a sham.
Merchant: Now, now. Don't be upset, Cordelia. We can't all have everything, you know. It's the flaws that bring out our beauty!
Cordelia: *Sniff* You mean it?
Merchant: Of course!
Cordelia: Well...all right. But I'd still like to put my armor back on.
Merchant: Take your time. I'll be waiting outside.
(screen returns to battle map)
Merchant: Thank you, Cordelia. You were a good sport.
Cordelia: Sorry I fell apart in there.
Merchant: You have nothing to apologize for. Now that we've shared a secret, I feel like we're sisters. To be honest, it's a relief to see a softer side of you. A legend like you can be kind of intimidating, if you know what I mean.
Cordelia: Hee hee. Thanks... I feel as though I've gained a sister as well. Perhaps we can share more stories once all the fighting is done.
Merchant: That sounds great to me.
Tharja: ...Is this the place? Where is that fool of a woman who calls her own protectors away from the battlefield?
Merchant: Ah! Tharja! Don't you look cheery today. Since you've been selected as one of the world's most popular ladies...the Hotrealm has decided to present you with this commemorative swimsuit! You can change in here. Don't let all those eager fans down!
Tharja: ...... So I just have to wear this?
Merchant: If you don't mind. To be honest, I half expected you to threaten to hex me.
Tharja: I'd rather get this whole horrible, wasteful experience over with…
Merchant: Um...okay... Well! Let's just get you into that changing room, shall we?
(screen goes black)
Tharja: Hrm... There's not much here to wear. No one wants to see ME in this. Unless... Yes, perhaps Robin would like it! This could be the key to winning <his/her> affections! *Bustle, rustle* *Sproing* Oof... It's a little tight... Is it supposed to hug my chest like this? And why is it...nngh...riding so far up my behind? Just what is that merchant up to, anyway?
Merchant: Tharja, are you all changed?
Tharja: You should know, vixen swindler. I demand answers!
Merchant: What's wrong? You don't like your swimsuit? Hang on. Let me take a look...
(Tharja's Swimsuit CG)
Tharja: ...Haven't you ever heard of knocking?
Merchant: Sorry! It sounded like you needed help. My gosh, Tharja—most women would kill for that body.
Tharja: ...Thanks. So did I.
Merchant: Er...so what's the problem? The swimsuit looks great on you. I think I picked out the perfect design.
Tharja: ...Did you even bother to check my size?
Merchant: Uh-oh... Too tight?
Tharja: My uncanny valleys beg for reprieve. You bought me a size too small on purpose, didn't you?
Merchant: I'm sorry, Tharja. I guess I got too focused on the design. And anyway, it's hard to get someone's measurements right based on hearsay. You've got a lot more, er, femininity than I'd heard.
Tharja: Spare me your flattery, slattern. Now I'll never win Robin's affections! I can't even step outside.
Merchant: Robin... Your tactician, right? <He/She> didn't quite make the swimsuit list, but <he/she> scored high in the polls. I'd say <he/she>'s even on par with you.
Tharja: ...What? On par? ...We have parity?! Then it's true! Some force binds us!
Merchant: Tharja? Slow down! You'll rip the swimsu—
Tharja: Aside, woman. I must change my attire at once and join my chosen one. My keen perception did not lie!
(screen returns to battle map)
Merchant: Well, that was an adventure, wasn't it, Tharja?
Tharja: I've ventured into worse. Are we done here?
Merchant: Yes. Sorry your swimsuit was too small.
Tharja: I'll lose no sleep over your bust-binding torture device. Now if you'll excuse me... Robin needs me.
Merchant: Right, um...bye? Well, she's certainly got personality. No wonder she rocked the polls.
Player battle-entry lines
These lines are spoken the first time a particular character enters the battle.
Robin: This place is stunning. It hardly feels like we're in the midst of battle. Once this mess is dealt with, we should let the others take a load off. Does that sound all right to you, brigand? ...Good!
Chrom: It feels a bit strange to get the celebrity treatment... But I'll admit—after a long march, it's nice to be pampered. The least we can do in return is live up to the gossip and rout these fiends!
Lissa: As fun as it must be to have the place to yourself, you need to learn to share! I mean, why not? You might even make some new friends while you're at it! ...Not interested, huh? All right, we'll just to have to do things your way.
Frederick: This beach is a disaster! Who left all these sharp rocks in the sand? I must pick them all up before the others get hurt! And YOU are going to help me! ...If you're still breathing when I'm done.
Sully: What's so damn special about splashing around in some tub of salt water? If you really want to blow off steam, you should try your hand at combat. Here. I'll run you through the motions. ...Nah. I think I'll just run you through.
Virion: What a magnificent vista! It's just a shame it overfloweth with brigands and not lovely ladies... Perhaps a masterful stroke from Virion can set this painting right.
Stahl: I wish I lived by an ocean like this. Just think of all the fresh fish... Sautéed in butter... Filleted and breaded... *grumble, grumble* Agh, there goes my stomach again. I really need to get control of that…
Vaike: The rumors are true, pal. The Vaike thrives in the blazin' summer sun! But too bad for you, I ain't here for fun and games. When I'm through with you, you'll be sleepin' with the fishes!
Miriel: How utterly deplorable. Beneath this detritus of rogues and unclaimed rubbish lay a natural marvel. Clearly I must purge this panorama of its pollution posthaste.
Sumia: As a Shepherd, it's my sworn duty to defend those in need. There was a time I doubted myself—when one like you might have cowed me. Unfortunately for you, rogue, that time has passed!
Kellam: This place looks like fun. Another kiss of death to my chances of being noticed. Who has time for poor Kellam with all these thrilling distractions? I'll probably get mistaken for driftwood. Do I look like driftwood to you? Hello?
Lon'qu: ...... ...... ...Damn this heat!
Ricken: Why are you staring at me? Is my hat crooked? ...Oh. So it is. Thanks! You're pretty nice. Why don't we call this whole thing off? ...Hey, don't look at me like that! It was a fair question!
Maribelle: The baseborn do know how to entertain themselves, I'll give them that... Perhaps Lissa and I could share tea and bringa little class to the place. Of course, we'll need to be rid of rabble like you first!
Panne: Ugh, this heat... For once, I wish I had human skin instead of fur. As soon as we're done here, I'm going to find a cool stream and...and... ...... ...Nngh! Almost passed out there... I must stay alert for the taguel's sake!
Gaius: Hey, if you're gonna pick a spot to plunder, you could do much worse... You've got sun, surf...all that lip-smacking fruit ripe for the plucking... ...Wait, what am I saying? I think the heat here is starting to get to me…
Cordelia: The blue water, the rhythm of the waves... The ocean is so romantic. Or at least it would be if you rogues weren't fouling it up. You'll pay for sowing these happy sands with strife!
Nowi: Why don't you people find your own playground and leave this one alone?! If there's one thing I REALLY can't stand, it's bullies! Ugh! You'd better say you're sorry now before I start bullying back!
Gregor: Look at these nincompadres, having too much fun to listen to reason. OY! IS TIME TO VACATE BEACH! ...See? No listen to reason. Perhaps your friends come round after Gregor feeds you to hungry shark…
Libra: I take a dim view of rogues who rob others of joy to sate their own needs. But repent now and leave this place, and you may yet be forgiven. ...Very well. Then this truly shall be your last resort.
Tharja: Why is everyone having so much...ugh, gag me...so much FUN? This "resort" nonsense will only lead to trouble. I must distract myself... You there... Prepare to be cursed in Robin's name!
Olivia: If only I had a swimsuit. It's too hot to fight in this weather... Wait, what am I SAYING? That would be mortifying! Everyone would stare at me! ...Oh, the horror! Look away!
Cherche: You poor, darling brigand. Would the other beachgoers not play with you? Minerva will join you for a swim. Won't you, my sweet? Yes, you will! ...That is, assuming she CAN swim. I'm not sure we've ever tried!
Henry: Hey, jerk! Didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to hog the beach? Now I'm gonna have to chop you up and toss you into the sea. Oh, don't worry—there's plenty of hungry fish out there, nya ha!
Say'ri: The ocean here is beautiful. It reminds me of the sea in Chon'sin. I'd head to the shore each day to try to catch the best fish I could for Yen'fay... *Sniff* I do miss him dearly. But I shan't allow my foes to witness such weakness!
Basilio: You liked the beach so much that you decided to conquer it? Ah, the brashness of youth! If you withdraw now, I might let you off with only a bruise or three. No deal? This won't end happily for one of us. And by one of us, I mean you.
Flavia: Well, look at you. You actually seem like you might have some fight in you. How about abandoning this invasion and coming to Ferox to hone those skills? You'd rather keep the beach? The summer sea is truly a force to be reckoned with…
Donnel: This big ol' stretch of sand kinda reminds me of the fields back home. I sure hope Ma and the others are holdin' their own... Maybe when this is all over, I'll take 'em out here for a li'l vacation!
Anna: Brigands attacking the resort? That can't be good for business... I expect full compensation for the financial harm you've caused my sister! As you're about to learn, the tenacity of a debt collector runs as deep as the sea!
Tiki: What a magnificent land this is. And until now, a peaceful one, I'm sure... How sad that even the pettiest of evils can transform peace into chaos. But I still believe in the future you hoped for, Mar-Mar. Its day will come…
Lucina: A land of pristine beauty, untouched by war. I've dreamed of such a place... And yet you brigands seem completely oblivious to its majesty. Disgusting. Perhaps a nice, hard strike from my blade will help open your eyes.
Owain: Blood...boiling...from this heat... Can't...control...sword hand... Flee now...brigand...or face the burning justice of...a thousand...a thousand... Argh, it's so hot I can't even remember my lines! Snap out of it, Owain!
Inigo: This blue ocean! This golden sand! Did such splendor even exist in my time? How could you troublemakers even think to taint this stunning scenery? For the beauty of sea and sky—er, and those bikini-clad ladies over there... I will stop you!
Brady: Think you're a tough guy, huh? I'll give you three seconds to apologize! ...Hey, don't play dumb with me! I saw you stompin' on that hermit crab! Next time try picking on someone your own size, you big bully!
Kjelle: Why would you even attack a place like this? For sport? Making innocent people miserable for your own amusement is pathetic. Allow me to provide the discipline you so clearly require!
Cynthia: How dare you sow your terror here. I won't allow your evil on this beach! You can't just take this place and turn it into your own private playground! Hm... That does sound kinda nice. No noise, no crowds... B-but evil! Now die!
Severa: Oh, look at that seashell! Maybe I could make it into a soap dish for Mother... Y-you heard that?! I...I'm not some mama's girl! She needed a new soap dish, and, uh... Don't you dare say a word about this! Actually...I'll just make sure you don't.
Gerome: This heat is unbearable. I can't think straight, and I'm sweating like a— ...ARGH! Sweat in my eyes! And I can't get to it because of this damn mask! *Sigh* If you wish to flee, brigand, now's your chance!
Morgan: Hey, how about you halt your attack and leave these poor people alone? What would your mother say if she knew you were assaulting a beach resort?! ...Hrm. Note to self: emotional appeals appear ineffective against brigands…
Yarne: H-Hey, d-don't come any closer! I'm casting off heat like a campfire! Look at me! The sun is scorching, and I'm covered in fur. It's NOT pleasant! J-just stay away! If I get any hotter, I could combust and kill us both!
Laurent: Aren't you worried about sunstroke, running about like that in this heat? When the sun's rays intensify like this, a wide-brimmed hat is ideal. Hm? You'll just kill me and take mine? B-but this belonged to my mother!
Noire: BWAH HA HA! THE SEA AND THE SKY HERE ARE DIVINE! YOU, BRIGAND! JOIN ME IN CRAFTING THE FINEST SAND CASTLE EVER BUILT! ...Uh, hello? You gonna help me or not? Fine... I guess we'll just fight instead…
Nah: You should be ashamed for attacking a peaceful place like this. All these people wanted was to be able to relax and have some fun! We never had that luxury...which is why I can't let you ruin this for them!
Gangrel: You dolts know who you're pointing those blades at? Sheathe 'em and go home. Or do you really wanna die on a beach? Is that the epic end you've always dreamed of? Well, if you insist... Let's give these seagulls and sand crabs the feast of a lifetime!
Walhart: Great men use strength to better all; good men, to protect what they love. But you squander yours in some craven's jape. You're beneath contempt! Withdraw now, or I'll be forced to sully my weapon with your worthless blood!
Emmeryn: The ocean...is so blue... so beautiful... I want to...come back here...with...Chrom and...Lissa... But first... we must bring...peace to the world…
Yen'fay: You stand before the mighty Yen'fay and yet you do not withdraw? Either you're skilled enough to be confident or too green to realize you're outmatched. Looking at you, I suspect it's the latter...but I shall have my answer soon enough!
Aversa: The heat here is intense. Maybe I'll just discard a layer or two of clothing... What's this? You were hoping to watch? Maybe if you can defeat me, hotshot. Then again, you're out to conquer a beach? I'd prefer a man with...loftier aspirations.
Priam: When I heard you laid siege to this land, I was prepared for an immense battle... Then I found out it was just a beach. And you were just...well, you. Let's just say I regret having prepared so thoroughly... I suppose I can only pray that you're far mightier than you appear to be.
- Main article:
Chrom: ...Did we get them all?
Merchant: Did you ever! You Shepherds are lifesavers. Sorry your day at the resort turned into such a chore.
Chrom: It's all right. Just knowing that you're safe because of us is relaxation enough.
Merchant: Thanks. ...That's a little strange, but thanks. Well, the sun's starting to hang lower than a wet bathing suit... Feel free to spend the rest of the day swimming or beachcombing or whatever. We could build a fire pit or have a clambake or something tonight? I'm game!
Chrom: That sounds like fun. I'll let the others know.
Merchant: Just tell me what you need, and I'll be at your service. You've earned it!
Chrom: Thanks, Anna. I'll do that. (Chrom leaves)
Merchant: ...... Are they gone? All right, baby, time for me to rake in some serious moola! I knew this Snapshot tome me and my sisters invented would come in handy. Now I've got pictures of the Shepherds wearing nothing but— *snicker* People will pay an arm and a leg for these! Should I make a calendar? Hmm… (Frederick enters)
Frederick: Pardon me, but I had a question.
Merchant: AIEEE! ...You, uh, weren't listening just now, were you?
Frederick: No, milady... Why?
Merchant: Uh, no reason... Anyway, what's your question?
Frederick: You mentioned we could build a fire pit... Do you know where I can find some tinder?
Merchant: Oh! Of course. There's some right over there. Help yourself. Just make sure to leave some for the next guests.
Frederick: How much is "some," exactly?
Merchant: Um...significantly less than "all" would be a good place to start?
Frederick: Thank you, milady. You have been most helpful. (Frederick leaves)
Merchant: Yeesh... That was weird. I hope he doesn't burn the whole place down. Maybe suggesting a fire pit wasn't the best idea. But then again...catching the great Frederick in an act of pyromania would make a great snapshot! Let me just grab my tome... ...Huh? Shoot, it's gone! And all my pictures with it! What could've happened to it...? ...Oh NO! There it is! It's getting washed out to sea! I must have dropped it when that oaf asked me his stupid question… (Frederick returns)
Frederick: I am so sorry to bother you again.
Merchant: ...Um, yes?
Frederick: I just realized I never took the time to properly express my gratitude.
Merchant: ...Your gratitude?
Frederick: Yes. You went out of your way to treat us like honored guests today. As a result, we've had a splendid time. I've never seen the others so happy. You truly have a wonderful heart.
Frederick: On behalf of my lord Chrom and all the Shepherds, I thank you. And now I will get out of your hair. ...Good day, milady.
Merchant: ...Ugh. And now my Snapshot tome is just a tiny speck on the horizon... So much for my grand enterprise. ...Oh well. All things considered, today could've ended much worse. If I can't roll in gold, I may as well take the silver lining...